Why I am a terrible programmer (theory)

I have been reflecting why I read advanced stuff, and think about advanced and rebellious stuff for years on end, yet have huge holes in my knowledge that most would have already mastered in much less time.

You're going to work for a company. They are going to tell you want to do. In their glossy brochures and flashy websites they say the projects are cool and benefit society.
If you are lucky, you might get to do some of the things you want to do (your dreams, your creativity), maybe if you are at it long enough. Maybe the companies will be generous and help you further your education.

I grew up in a world where this mindset was the case. Substitute company with school or group led by an authority figure. Maybe I viewed things through family.

I also struggled with math and felt silly when I asked for help. I thought some people were just smarter and more skilled. It did not always click right away. I was inspired by great people since an early age.

Which is kind of why I am still weak here, and why I have not seen these websites much?

https://www.geeksforgeeks.org/top-10-algorithms-in-interview-questions/
https://www.freecodecamp.org/learn/ 
(see coding interview prep)

 I suppose this shouldn't be out in the wild:

This is interesting, and I am having fun learning it, but do the people that I know that work at the companies know about it or at least value it? Do they value my view point, or do they ignore me because I don't have the same number of years in their existing peer group with the same sort of title? This is why it is important to have some degree of F.U. money because constantly being concerned about what other people think is a drain. Working a $7-$12/hr job is exhausting, but totally worth it if it gets you practice and exposure working with stuff that gets you up in the morning. Buying into, "oh you have an advanced degree, recruiters will throw your resume out if they see that" is foolish. The truth is, you might get into the interview but they will throw you out because they said "he rambled on and on about this" or "he did not seem too passionate" or "he said something at the end of the interview that indicated he really was faking it the whole time". Majors are important because it puts you in a group and allows those who are hiring to assemble you like lego blocks without really thinking what is inside. They are just trusting that you were vetted by the university. If you get pushed into a certain major and are not allowed to make course corrections based on understanding of yourself then you are in trouble. Having F.U. money helps with making course corrections for problems you see, but others refuse to see. If you don't make these course corrections, or don't have or refuse to spend lots of money at universities and colleges then you can get responses like, "I see all of these hobbies, and or lots of activities on your c.v., but no real experience".


Oh, this is so cool, but does it involve .NET, C#, MySQL, JavaScript, or React?
(or Java, Python...) I should be the best I can be at these 5 things and then apply for 500 job postings. I should present on these popular things because people are using them, and it might get me a job. I actually feel guilty for pursuing things other people don't. I go through contortions trying to explain. I don't blame them really. They all are focusing on the same sorts of things under the illusion that it will allow them to survive. I'm more motivated by ideas and excellent projects, less by job boards. Things usually end in: I wish I would have bought Ethereum or Ripple or Bitcoin. I knew about them all, early. Bitcoin in Jan 2012, then all of the others at inception. I wish I wouldn't have asked people if I should, or asked people who gave me responses that gave me fear. It is too volatile. It has no value b/c Warren Buffet says so. etc...

I wish I would have spent more money on conferences that fit in line with projects I was pursuing, and less on conferences that were curiosities that were just fun because people I found that were easy to commute to every month were doing it.You fall behind and you get abandoned twice: first by the people who were evolving and discovering new things (and have a few years under their belt pursing it) and second by the people you just hung with who have a few years more experience doing whatever they do but never really had the time to care or never saw value or never wanted to understand what you do. All of this abandonment and disconnection does not make you seem more valuable.

In addition to that you still might have more rough edges than you might otherwise have. People who go on with there lives and just acquire more stuff but you never really see except if you go to specific events and never really care what you do in general are not going to help you smooth out these rough edges.

I recall that during the summer of 2013 I worked as an adjunct professor teaching a chemistry lab at a community college. I could have theoretically taken a computer science class. I did move in that direction and approached a professor in the network security teaching profession. I recall that I felt that the professor wanted me to do an entire curriculum, and I was scared away. I perhaps had sticker shock. I perhaps had hubris of oh, I'll figure it out and it is cool that I think I can. It makes me better smarter than those blindly going through the system...etc. i very much enjoyed spending time with the elites on the w3c forums. I also was unwilling to part with money that I was making. (instead I squandered some of it by living for a stint in california. Before I went the thought passed: what would people at church think. I thought about telling them, but I guess I didn't value their opinion because felt that my aspirations with a distributed economy were improper or they wanted me to chose a more normal career and be like everyone else. I was in california, but I couldn't stop studying. I did some odd jobs. I was not all that committed to tutoring.) Maybe I too was wounded from my university experience.

Part of the reason why the university was difficult is that I had trouble making course corrections for my interests or weaknesses. I didn't fund it and I did not have a lot of confidence going in. I should have worked during high school, but that was discouraged. I guess I should have approached standardized testing with more vigor than I did.


Rock solid co-creation is what moves things forward. Inspiration moves things forward.
https://twitter.com/twarko/status/1269522827205640192?s=20
https://twitter.com/twarko/status/1269522827205640192?s=20
https://twitter.com/twarko/status/1269522827205640192?s=20
https://twitter.com/twarko/status/1269522827205640192?s=20